Beware That Book

I actually stepped out of my genre comfort zone and read a teen thriller! This is a first for me, guys. I normally do not enjoy dramatic books that question my own sanity, not just that of the characters and Toten’s Beware That Girl certainly does just that.

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Beware That Girl by Teresa Toten
Published by Delacorte Press on May 31st 2016
Genres: Contemporary, Thriller, Romance, Friendship
Pages: 336
Source: Amazon // Goodreads // Barnes and Nobles

Final Review 3.5 out of 5 / 5 out of 5

★★★☆☆  /   ★★★★★

Kate O’Brien finds herself as the only scholarship student at New York City’s most prestigious all-girls high school, Waverly. Her admittance isn’t only for academics, Kate has many plans when it comes her to time at Waverly.
Olivia, a mysterious, pure-bread socialite in the making owns the hallways of Waverly, but she certainly has things to hide.
The two become unlikely friends, Kate using Olivia and Olivia using Kate. However, when a new, delicious male administrator comes into the pictures, all the girls are enthralled except for Kate–she knows that something is up.
Toten keeps her readers on the edge of their seat with this thrilling depiction of wealthy girls, forbidden love, and New York City’s secrets. Every chapter reveals something different as well as raises more questions than before. Some mysteries get solved, others remain a mystery.


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I don’t even really know where to begin with this book. Usually, when I read, I dog-ear pages so I can go back and retrieve quotes or passages that really spoke to me or that I thought embodied the text as a whole. This book does not have any dog-eared corners. And not because I didn’t enjoy it or it didn’t speak to me–quite the contrary actually. This book spooked me, just like it claimed it would.
Toten powerfully creates this twisted world that is part Gossip Girl, part Pretty Little Liars, and another part psychological thriller Gone Girl. You are right in assuming that this book will lead you on a mental wild goose chase of whodunit. I have given the book 3.5 stars not out of the book being bad, but out of my fear and bias towards it. Generally, I do not reach for this genre. I, in fact, abhorred Gone Girl even though it’s my boyfriend’s favorite movie. I don’t like horror, or thriller, or anything that can be described as “scary.” I don’t see a point in freaking myself out over something, especially something that is fucked up enough to be real. I read Toten’s story and pictured the New York that I know and could almost see it happening. The girls that are close enough to my age, all with their own bottles of pills and personal therapists, all taking drugs and drinking, all wanting to sleep with a teacher (I was in high school once!).
I also wanted to give the book an accurate 5 out of 5 rating for those that do enjoy this type of genre. Toten will blow you out of the water. The twists that she throws out at all corners are unlike any other that I’ve read (probably because I don’t read these types of books). The ending? Literally, did not see that coming. Other than the Valium-coated high school girls, nothing in this story seems overdone or cliched. Everything is a surprise.
I didn’t say anything, couldn’t trust my voice. After he locked up, we walked through the crowds in silence. Except, of course, everyone in Chinatown kept calling out his name and greeting him. I kept my mouth shut. I was too busy sucking back tears. Because not for the first time, but with more fervor than I could ever remember, dear Jesus I wished that I was someone else.
If only, if only…I could be anyone else (page 271).
There are certain things I want further explained (what happened with Johnny???) but alas those much-needed answers will never come. I think this is why I dislike thriller and dramatic genres as much as I do. There are characters that just randomly disappear, storylines that don’t end nicely, and a general unease after closing the book, not a sense of release. I suppose that this is how Kate feels, though. She never gets a sense of release. She is constantly on edge, worried that her past is going sneak up on her. She has so much to lose and could be in deep danger if she is found. But what secrets does she hide? What secrets does Olivia hide? And what secrets do they have together? Neither girl is allowed a happy ending; Toten’s story is too realistic to let that happen.
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Another Rant About Women’s Bodies

[Disclaimer: this is totally not a book review, just a little social piece I thought I’d share]

The new hit comedy, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, started another craze for me. Ever the fan of beautiful Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick as well as sexy Zac Efron, seeing their movie was a must. Little did I know it would upset my stomach–not like the way some Tosh.0 episodes do, but in a much more unexpected way.

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As a budding 22 year old with too many plans for my future that I don’t know which one to pick, to say that I am “in shape” would be a disappointing understatement. Sucking it in is really the only ab exercise I do these days. So unless you count pudgy hourglass as a shape, then I am not in it. I have large breasts and a decently sized booty to match. My legs don’t go on for days, but are average and my arms could be more toned but eh. What remains is the centerfold of every woman: the stomach–I’m envisioning here the sound of canned screaming as if from a drive in movie back in the fifties when The Blob came at the screen. At times and at the right angle, I’m a size 8 to the passerby. Other times I’m so large i look five months pregnant (spoiler: I have gotten seats on the bus before by sticking out my gut and cradling it like any good unwed young mother would).

While hilariously well-written and starring an A+ cast, I walked out of the movie, tossing my empty giant-sized cherry limeade slushie in the trash, with whiplash about my own body. I wanted to love every aspect of it, but i couldn’t look Plaza and Kendrick in the face, only their one-eyed, rock hard midsections. I can’t blame them, and I don’t. They didn’t know this feeling of utter self-hatred would arise from their glorious on screen performance, and in fact both girls are so cool that if they had known, they probably would have stopped production, or at the least gained ten pounds in just their stomachs for me. However, their movie started a new body craze for me.

“I’m gonna work out” I told myself on the drive home in the rain. I can get washboard abs like they do (I can’t), I can get toned thighs and arms like they have (I can’t do that either). But I was on a mission. Soon I was thinking are diet pills really that bad? How easy it would be to get skinny by just swallowing a pill a day! I would love that! I began downloading workout apps on my phone and dreaming about running in the morning. However, I always hit snooze.

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Though they gave me reason to hate myself a little, Plaza and Kendrick couldn’t give me the one thing I really need: motivation. Furthermore, I got mixed signals. Cosmopolitan’s August covergirl, model Ashley Graham, talks about how amazing it is to model and still be a normal woman–that is a regular, average, size which is somehow deemed “plus-sized” in the business. For once in a long time, the queen of women’s magazine seemed to be edging towards accepting women as they are; what a game changer! Graham plowed through her interview with chic confidence and inspiration for every woman with a waist size thats double digits. She is awesome, to put it simply. She the Cosmo interviewer about her troubling past (all models seem to have it) and how she eventually found body peace: “A tireless body activist, [Graham is] never not preaching that beauty is beyond size.” The article features pictures of Graham’s sexy body at parties, on the runway, with husband and so on and it ends with Graham’s last tidbit of self-wisdom: “Everybody’s going to have an opinion. As long as I’m healthy and I feel good, that’s what matters.”

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This isn’t the only #BiggerGirlsMatter article the August issue of Cosmopolitan printed. Before Graham’s interview, Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s six-page piece “Stop the Absanity” sits nestled in at page 116. Here Brodesser-Akner assess the origin of our obsession with the midsection from Tamilee Webb’s Abs of Steel video became a hit in 1991 to today where “a rock-hard belly is the ultimate signifier of hotness and hard work” (121). If this is true, then I am neither of the these things. Now wait a second, I always considered myself at least one of those things! Hard-worker. I’m a hard-worker and my boyfriend calls me hot, so that has to count for something?

“This is a body part that is historically was hard, associated with men, and soft, associated with women. Now we, the women, just want our bellies hard. We want the softness eradicated like it was never there” (122).

So what is a girl to think? On one side, there’s Plaza and Kendrick along with every other female celebrity in LA with their thigh-gaps, and then Cosmopolitan features a bigger model and an anti-ab declaration. What side am I supposed to be on? Obviously the bigger side (both literally in weight and in population) because that’s where I fit. However, the fact that Graham is covered up on her cover and how her interview really only deals with her being bigger as the only reason for her success, it’s already sending mixed signals. I want to applaud Cosmopolitan for at least putting in some effort, but what’s stopping Cosmopolitan from featuring what they deem a “normal-sized” girl on cover of the September issue? I guarantee that they will because bigger girls, unless their last name is Kardashian, they do not get featured very often.

I suppose by now you’re wondering “Where is she going with this rant?” and honestly, I do not know. I suppose that’s the sad part. Every day I wake up with a different feeling about my body. Some days it looks killer and I’m the hottest chick around and some days I want to burn all my clothing, start eating only water (if I chew it, then I’m burning calories right?), and question why my boyfriend finds me attractive. The constant media whiplash of “Butts are Totally In Right Now” to “Women were supposed to be soft!” and also “You need to be skinny–end of story” certainly doesn’t help either. I truly think that the only way to find some body peace is to literally try everything and then push out anything that doesn’t work.

If your boyfriend thinks you look great and you love eating mac and cheese, then why stop? Does eating it make you feel good? Sure it does! It’s freaking cheese! I ain’t giving any of that up. Maybe I’ll stop eating bread with every meal, but I am not giving up gluten because Miley Cyrus said so. Candy is my kryptonite and I probably have dessert after 6 out of 7 dinners a week. Who cares? I need to learn to be happy with that regime because I know that anything different would make me unhappy. Watching my boyfriend get to have a milkshake while I have a kale smoothie for dessert? Kill me now.

So to the Aubrey Plazas and the Ashley Grahams alike, I salute you. You’ve found a way to be healthy, sexy, confident, sexy, beautiful, sexy and, most importantly, happy. One day I’ll get there. Let me just research 21 Day Fix while eating frozen yogurt first.